Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
