Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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