Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
