she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize