She said her name was "party"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
