found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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