i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
