On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
