so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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