I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
