Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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