Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
