just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
