my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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