Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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