Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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