turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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