I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize