Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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