I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize