But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
