You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
