i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
