people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
