She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
