trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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