? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Randomize
