you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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