awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
