My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
