Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
