Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
