I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
