once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
