Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
