apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize