Buhtt sex?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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