Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
