Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish you could order shots online.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
