dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The air taste purple.
Randomize
