the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
