You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
