PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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