before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize