I want to have your abortion
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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