so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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