i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
