can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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