Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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