If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
