And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize