Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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