she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
