two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize