Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
