I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
