I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
