they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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