I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We left the knife in your bed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
