I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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