He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
