Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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